KNOW, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlanta and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Elon, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining forums lay spread across the internet like blue- and purple-linked mantles beneath the stars—Tumblr, 4chan, io9, Fark…

One gets the impression that men’s adventure magazines were really stretching to find new and interesting animals to menace the adventurers on their covers.

My story’s infinite. Like the laundry, it’s infinite, it doesn’t rest.

Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. No way would a studio agree to do that much hand-crafted work. They’d just have the stars reacting to a bunch of tennis balls and “fix it in post.”

For wickedness burns as the fire; It shall devour the briers and thorns, And kindle in the thickets of the forest; They shall mount up like rising smoke. Through the wrath of the Lord of hosts The land is burned up, And the people shall be as fuel for the fire; No man shall spare his brother. And he shall snatch on the right hand And be hungry; He shall devour on the left hand And not be satisfied; Every man shall eat the flesh of his own arm. Manasseh shall devour Ephraim, and Ephraim Manasseh; Together they shall be against Judah.

For all this His anger is not turned away, But His hand is stretched out still.

Isaiah 9:18-21

He’s had the Petty Bitch title for most of his life, though.

Own a Phalanx CIWS for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended.

I’m not from DC, but I’ve visited a number of times, and I said subway not Metro out of the assumption that people outside of DC wouldn’t know what I was talking about if I said Metro. The ads I saw were near Pentagon City or Alexandria.

If you ride the subway in Washington DC there are posters advertising anti-aircraft systems and other military contract products right next to the ads for car insurance and chewing gum and it’s so fucking weird.

And they scoop lard instead of vanilla ice cream

"[O]ur rights and our dignities come not from God, but from government,” he said.

Hmm.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

Ephesians 6:5

…and…

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

Colossians 3:22

Is that the God you want to derive your rights from, Clarence?

“Plague.”

Might get stuck with a small payout.

“What are the winning numbers for the next lottery drawing with a payout of over $500 million?”

I saw a straight-up depressing ad at my last visit to the theater. A couple of guys are out back of a restaurant talking, and a third guy joins them.

Guy 1: What are you doing with your tax refund?

Guy 2: I’m going to buy some recording equipment and start that podcast I’ve always wanted to!

Guy 1: Nice. I’m putting it back into this truck that I have so I can keep making money making deliveries to restaurants! How about you, [Guy 3]?

Guy 3: [Smiles ruefully, opens his phone to…]

And the ad is for an app that invests your money in crypto currencies. So the ad is shitting on the idea of pursuing your creative dream or owning your own real-world business, and endorsing the idea of taking all your money to the crypto casino.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Prostitution? Gambling.

Exotic dancing? Fraud.

Dealing street drugs? Gambling.

Marketing pharmaceuticals? Fraud.

Your stomach thinks all meals are smoothies.

Your tongue always knows what it would feel like to lick any surface you can see in person.

There’s no meaningful difference between eating a pound of crab meat and eating a pound of crickets.