Like, at what point between “honeymoon phase” and “curmudgeon phase” is it okay to say “Actually, dear, I’ve always hated chicken. I’ve only been pretending to like it to preserve your feelings and show you how much I appreciate you.”

Anytime. Just don’t be a dick about it

The difference is that you are making a choice to eat them.When OOOOOP ate the chicken, he wasnt making a choice to try to like chicken - he felt like he had to to keep his wife happy. So he ate it hating every bite, reinforcing the “badness” of the taste.

Probably the destruction of civilization.

Then nothing, as the generations pass and the wreckage of our civilization becomes a simple fact of life rather than a great tragedy.

Yeah, I think it is very noble, but… like…

I have this friend. Grew up poor. Parents divorced. Dad abused him. Mom was an alcoholic. But he made it out alive and got married to a girl. They live in the same podunk rust belt town they grew up in, working at walmart. They aren’t dumb. They aren’t lazy. But whenever they think about moving, its “oh, but I still have to take care of mom - her schizophrenia is flaring up again and her hoarding is getting out of control.” “gotta stick around for dad - he’s getting heart surgery and needs our support” “gotta help out my FIL, since he went senile and is now on the run from the law for looking at CP on the computer in between cancer treatments.”

I, meanwhile, graduated high school, walked out the door, and haven’t returned to my home town or seen my parents probably more than a dozen times since, and am much happier with my life.

Yeah, I also dont get it. TNT?

Nah. I’m already a neckbeard. Might as well be a neckbeard with abs

I’ve heard this advice for years, but as someone who has spent a lot of time outside, my take is that it is oversimplified. If you are lost, you absolutely should not just sit down where ever you happen to be and wait for rescue. That rescue will take days to get started, and could take days more to find you - if they ever do. You can almost always solve this problem in 5 minutes or less by simply exploring the local environment and finding the trail again or noticing landmarks that lead you back to the trail. Wandering 100 yards off trail to take a poop and then getting a bit disoriented shouldn’t result in 6 nights of shiver-bivy in your rainjacket and a 100 person search party. It should result in you being mildly annoyed that you walked up and down the same hill a few times before you found the trail again.

Sorry bro, that’s the stereotype and you wont be able to change it. Its our cross to bear

I mean, I would like first to make a point of order - “ghosting” is when someone who you already have an established relationship with stops responding to all messages. It doesn’t mean “someone you were interested in but had no significant relationship with simply lost interest”. For example, if you match with someone on a dating app, and then you exchange a few messages but they stop responding, they are not “ghosting” you - they have simply lost interest.

Anyway, if you have people on dating apps consistently losing interest with you, then it usually means that your problem is… nothing. The vast majority of OLD interactions go no where. This is fine. Most people arent a good match for each other. They might have found someone who is a better match for them, or they may have simply become exhausted with dealing with OLD.

Its like if you thought someone at a party was cute, and you went and had a convo with them, and then they went to get a drink and got drawn into another convo, and then you never saw them again. They didn’t “ghost” you. They aren’t being mean to you. They are just living their life, and you are not a major player in it, and that’s fine.

However, if you don’t like how conversations just peter off sometimes, you can significantly reduce this by seeking explicit rejections instead. Be clear about what you are looking for, and then pitch meeting up in person.

Source: I read it once on the internet.

D/s kink. Girl wants to “date up” - dating a guy who is superior to her. The guy she wants has lots of other options with women, and so is not very interested in her. So she has to work to win him over and prove that - even though she is average in every way (except for being smokin hot), actually deep down inside in some way that doesnt manifest in the real world at all, she is the most specialist girl in the whole wide world.

But she can only maintain this fantasy as long as he plays his role of not being interested in her until she has proved herself. In Anon’s case, he’s autistic, and so initially ignored her. Then his attempts at “flirting” were cold and stone-faced, showing he has only a small amount of interest but he still needs to be convinced. But then Anon broke the fantasy by asking her out before she had “proved” herself.

Anon’s biggest problem was not being attractive enough to have lots of other girls intersted in him so he would actually not care if this girl liked him. If he did this instead, he would both improve his odds with this girl without even trying, and also not care if she decided she actually didn’t like him.

1% reply rate on cold outreach is totally normal. You are basically spamming people. Do you reply to spam?

3 problems:

1. I dont see you say anywhere that you have a portfolio. You need a portfolio to show off to potential employers what you can actually do in these fields.
2. You say you quit in the boring middle part. Well… don’t. People who go to school for graphic design go to school for years - even if the schooling isnt perfect, it is better than kind of aimlessly tooling around for a few weeks.
3. You don’t have any connections. Like you noticed, your cold outreach response rate is abysmal. Of course it is. If a random stranger walked up to you on the street and asked if you want to be friends, you would probably be quite hesitant. But if you meet through a mutual friend, at a party, or in a hobby club, you will be much more interested in meeting them. 80% of jobs are never posted on online job boards, because they are filled via informal social connections.

I use it only semi-ironically whenever something dangerous, unexpected, or loud happens

They Knew

I find closing my eyes is helpful for focusing on the sensations, but if this would be weird or dangerous (eg, in the middle of a conversation or while driving), I will do my best without closing my eyes. Same with stopping what I am doing, etc. I feel like this technique has the greatest immediate effect when I can stop whatever I’m doing, sit down, and focus on the feeling entirely for an indefinite period of time. But I think the most important thing for long term progress is simply noticing the feeling in the moment and allowing yourself to feel it, even if just a little, for just a fraction of a second.

So to do it properly, I suggest not trying to do it properly. Just do it, but do it as consistently as possible.Then if you feel the urge, carve out 5 minutes per day or a couple times per day to specifically remember the feeling, and feel it uninterrupted.

In left-leaning spaces with strong feminist influences like Lemmy, it is 100% a legitimate question. For the past several decades in these online spaces (and longer in certain real-life spaces), the constant refrain has been that heterosexual male sexuality is bad.

It is very reasonable for a chronically online heterosexual male lemming with little real world experience of sex and the culture of sex to feel like their sexuality is bad, and completely normal feelings and impulses they have are bad.

For example, imagine the community reaction if this post were hetero.

I mean like getting into higher paid and more respected positions in my industry. And then the things I wanted were more flexibility, more time off, working with people I liked, and seeing my work make the world a better place.

The model I had in my head was that more pay or prestige would either require or result in less of the other things I wanted. You had to trade flexibility or good coworkers and bosses in order to make more money.

Now, I think you can make that tradeoff if you want to. But I also think that, in general, the best way to get the higher paycheck is by assuming it also comes with making the world a better place and working with good people.

I mean, I think you more or less have it figured out, as you outlined in your post. Now you just need to do the work - whenever you feel the feeling of “I’m falling behind, its a disaster!” or “They have a new car and I don’t and I want it, its not fair!”, just take a moment (personally, I count 5 natural breaths as a convenient timer) to notice how the feeling actually feels. The physical sensations, the kinds of thoughts it brings up, the other emotions it brings up - be interested and curious about the feeling itself. The longer you can sit with the feeling like this - just feeling, noticing, being interested and curious - the more likely it is to feel heard and take its leave. And as you complete this practice over and over, the feeling is more likely to feel its mission is complete, and not come around to worry you.

Um, I would invest in bitcoin when it was still nerd shit.

More seriously, I would tell myself that I should set my career goals based on the assumption that greater success comes with more of what you want, rather than assuming that greater success was a tradeoff for more misery.

fwiw, I agree with you