mood

So I did the math. A 30 year fixed and a 50 year fixed have a monthly payment difference of $1.

What the absolute fuck.

Yay! I love to see it. I briefly looked into it this summer but then I got distracted and lost track

I think he’s kidding.

I hope.

God fuck this timeline, I can’t tell either now.

Stuffed inside of a bag he put himself in.

I mean those are probably better ways to incite a civil war than by provoking protestors.

But what do I know

They would.

They seriously would. Authoritarianism is a pathology. Change my mind.

Of course. It all makes perfect sense.

Are you proposing the government drones that we haven’t been seeing are spreading weaponized drone flu, or that they have a slowed production until the spring because they are planning something much bigger?

Pidgeons. Geese. I haven’t seen a raven, or owl, or most song birds.

It’s almost like… They aren’t real 👀

I don’t pay attention to be honest. But now I might

The fuck man, you just came out and said it lmfao wow

I knew that part, but why was Tigger racist for Obama?

No, that’s just the hexbear part.

No other instance seems to do it.

Man you guys really need to try new things. You damn well know it wasn’t because Winnie the Pooh is yellow. And you damn well know it was started in the real China anyway.

Oh. Well I’m not gonna be out that long.

I hope.

Uhoh. It really depends on how well I do and it is not well so far.

Man quetiapine just made me panic and feel like I couldn’t breathe. Actually there are a shit ton of “sedating” medications that do that to me thinking about it.

Except of course benzos, but thanks to those being cross tolerant with z drugs, they really gotta pump those in me to work at all.

I’ve had a little success with clonodine.

I remember abilify completely shut off my ability to think. Still had emotions, just no reasoning.

People talk about Dating being this thing that’s easy to do. Yeah. Maybe if you had any choice over what was and wasn’t difficult.

Im thinking about walking into therapy tomorrow and just asking “do I have to work if I’m just gonna be miserable anyway?”

I’m doing some particularly frequent therapy at the moment. Medication management, occupational stuff.

So far I’ve only met one person on the apps. So I’m working on finding stuff to go to to meet more people. It’s a small city, so kind of limited. Can’t move because of a kid. That makes it way harder to date too.

But one thing I’m trying to remind myself - I’ll be in my 40s when my son is 18. I figure I can probably really safely leave him at home way before that. So maybe in 5 years or so. I had a teacher in his 50’s marry another teacher in her late 20s (and they are still together 15 years later) so I’d say there’s still time.

Thank you. Knowing that others have recovered gives me some hope.