It’s not smart to lie and over exaggerate in court.

Kirby spearheaded 9/11

I can feel good about eating a bag of Halloween candy because the many non recyclable wrappers slowed me down

username relevant

Orally? Never tried it

Pumpkin spice fent would taste so sweet

That’s nice

Poor monkeys need someone to give them a hug

Is that painting still stolen?

When she dies, they should install a speaker in her casket to auto play that song from Nov 1st to Jan 1st non stop.

Looks like pasta 😋

I befriended someone online through a video game and we became steam friends. We talked a lot about the game, but also non game topics. When one of us went AFK for awhile the other would check in and ask what was new in life. We wished each other happy birthday and holidays. One time I mentioned to him that my spouse would inform him if something unexpected happened to me, like I got hit by a bus or something. And I asked him to do the same because I would wonder forever. He wasn’t comfortable with it. But that guy is still my buddy IMO even though I don’t know his real name.

Then that software engineer that was replaced by AI becomes Sam’s personal chef to kill him

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

Do you ever ask yourself, “I wonder if I have cancer right now and don’t even know it?”

the 5g was fine, but I got radio frequency treatment today for my dry eyes, so it really feels like a 10g now

Did Canada hurt Trump’s fee fee feelings?! 😢

I got my flu and COVID vaccines yesterday. Hoping to prevent cancer or something. Slightly sore arm, but no flu feelings.

Dogs and humans both equally benefit from a daily walk or two.