Yup. Wash your hands with soap four times daily and you reduce your chance of catching a surface-borne disease by 80%

I work in a hospital and one Christmas I brought home gastric 'flu with me… that wasn’t a wonderful Yuletide for anyone.

It’s acknowledged as such in Article 25.1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted in 1948.

Not as hard as we mock the guy who really thought we’d pronounce it “Oo-RAH-nus”.

August last year, when my cat went into advanced stage kidney failure and I chose to have her put to sleep. She had stopped eating and didn’t have the strength to support her own head at that point so not a difficult decision, but still very hard to accept.

This isn’t the future any of us wanted.

Ask a Tongan why their grandparents don’t like Samoans.

Who are you? Where’s the regular nurse?

Jesus, I read about that technique in a science magazine in the 90s.

I once read a post by an Etsy clothes-maker complaining that pants with pockets were her worst-selling items. Maybe that’s why?

I’m not a warrior, I’ve just lost the memory of what happened last time, and all the numbers after 8 and the word for those flapping flying things that sit on power lines. People keep talking about Traumatic Brain Injury. I think that’s my favourite punk band?

Yep.

Leftover… cheese? I know what each of those words mean individually, but put them together like that and you’ve lost me.

I drank an entire bottle of coke in the first act, which made the last act seem infinite.

It was an amateur production of Shakespeare’s As You Like It that a friend and his son were both acting in. It could have been quite stodgy, but the actors made it good fun.

Count me in the column of people who think Verne is equally well-known to Wells. Heck, I’m part way through Off on a Comet at the moment.

Accidentally inhaling a drinking straw.

Much less of a problem now that I’ve stopped using them, admittedly.

No TV in the bedroom. Bedroom is for other activities.

Using war on foreign soil to kill the firstborn? Hasn’t that been every US president?

Well it is the most wonderful time of the year.

They’re cats. How would you stop them?