

I would like to apologize for my joke, to you whether you were offended or not, and to anybody else who might have been offended. I was thinking of the punchline to a joke, and I didn’t consider that I might have been offensive in my setup.
I saw your reply yesterday and wanted to marinate on it before responding.
My basic conclusion is that I was thinking of people who are psychopaths, not autistic people, but that even then, I should not be this offensive to people who are psychopaths. I am told that there are perfectly decent people out there who suffer from psychopathy, but they make it work.
I have never been diagnosed, but I strongly suspect that I am on the autism spectrum. (Maybe just dipping my toe in at this point, maybe a little more, maybe a lot more.) And probably as a result of that, I generally avoid autism knowledge like a plague. I hate the feeling like I could learn something and second-guess myself or feel like I’m powerless to resist.
So, maybe you can confirm what I’m about to say, but I don’t think autistic people basically lack empathy, so much as they have a hard time identifying with a neurotypical person. I certainly don’t lack empathy. If anything, I think I feel more empathy than most other people. But, I suspect that an autistic person might feel more empathy for animals than humans, for example, but they don’t feel zero empathy unless they are also psychopaths. Is this an incorrect understanding?
Either way, I think I will try to avoid being offensive to psychopaths in the future.





That is fascinating. Thank you for the response. Interestingly, your description of autism and implicit learning does not resonate with me, at all. In fact, I strangely feel like I have a subconscious side of my brain that is far smarter than the conscious side of my brain, if that makes sense. And as a result, I have a very strong intuition about what other people are thinking, for example.
If anything from your description, I felt more resonance with your description of NPD, but that’s probably only because I’m relatively narcissistic in the normal sense. I don’t think there is likely to be any disorder from that or any trauma that could cause it. Maybe it’s because I can flip a switch where I become much more manipulative. Or maybe I’m just empathizing with you. I did have an ex who broke up with me after she purposely wound me up and then said that she thought I was going to hurt her. So maybe that’s it.
I have basically zero academic understanding of psychology, so I can’t really participate in this analysis. But I appreciate you have spoken about it in a way that I could understand, and I’m pleased that you’ve decided to use your experience to help people. I wish you the best of luck.