I got “harry potter and the rash on the way home”

I think they probably see us as stupid gods

Is that Laci Green?

The one I posted is my favourite poem but I’ve not read any others of hers, I give them a read.

I Worried

By Mary Oliver

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers flow in the right direction, will the earth turn as it was taught, and if not how shall I correct it? 

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven, can I do better? 

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows can do it and I am, well, hopeless. 

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it, am I going to get rheumatism, lockjaw, dementia? 

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.

How was it supposed to work? Was it supposed to scan received dick pics of anything gross because people do have eyes they could use…

One of my favourites to think about is “How are you?”. Taken literally that question makes no sense. “How are you?” “Well one day my parents had sex and I sort of grew from there…”

What’s Simon doing in a cat cafe?

My favourite is the (apparently) Australian saying “I’m so hungry a could eat the ass off a low flying duck”

It’s our first kid as well. Shitting bricks but I’m almost certainly less worried than her so I think my role is to basically support her as much as possible. Thanks for the advice!

My wife is preggers so I’ve got all this to look forward to .

🎶I’m going to praise you like a shoe🎶

Maybe she wanted you to dress her?