This is why I have an email alias, mail folders, and inbox rules specifically for job hunting.

God. Damnit. 😆

You really only needed that last sentence.

They have much too much money to give a fuck about something as trivial as laws.

Vapes kinda work in a similar fashion to foods. I remember having to switch from vanilla, because it was making my coffee taste like nothing.

For the curious, I removed nicotine from my diet last February. About 28 years, total.

“We’re in this for the species, boys and girls!”

That actually makes me happy.

As someone who changes oil for a living, I can confirm it’s in more than just Teslas.

Curious to know if they also claim that “we didn’t have that stuff when I was a kid,” and attempt to defend casual usage of the r-slur?

*bongo intensifies as feet continue to make circles in midair*

…which choice does that represent, though?

…he’ll be fed for a day.

If you teach a mouse a blowjob, he’ll be fed for the rest of his life.

I’m almost certain there’s a scene in the 1998 film, Mafia!, where a similar joke is made, but that phrase is so tied to The Godfather, that search engines only seem to want to throw that movie in my face, even with “-Godfather” in the query. 🤦🏿‍♀️

Backlash: [knocks on door] RNC: Go 'way! ‘Baitin’!!

And by the following year, top hats housing hidden EMP cannons will be all the rage.

Yeah, they were already doing this with their own cameras.

I got real tired of being told to stop “loitering” by a pre-recorded voice every time I came up the alley to pick up my McDonald’s order, just because someone else hates homeless people so much that they’re willing to alienate their own regular customers.

Ok, I’m not Adobe’s biggest fan, but that file format really doesn’t deserve what the terms of algorithmically-distributed content has done to it.

Yes; MAGA is truly obsessed with what’s in my pants. It’s quite annoying.

To paraphrase a great skit by a comedian I later lost a lot of respect for:

♪ Yo’ plot-ty… ♪ Yo’ plot-ty… ♪ Is a Port-A-Potty