Heyyy, now I get to enjoy some copium for being such a dinosaur and resisting to use it as often as I can

Haven’t seen anyone mention True Detective: S1 yet. Far From Any Road by The Handsome Family

Dexter also had a pretty cool opening sequence. Makes me hungry every time lol

I have called my garage my car hole for so long that I had to tell my kids to stop calling it that

ah, yes, dependents should fuckin bend the knee like the servants they are /s

Why do you keep saying that? Because they pay me everytime I do.

if we’re all sick with long covid 3.0, we’re easier to subjugate. okeydoke

No, the lesson is not to be filth and blackmail your partner(s).

I sincerely doubt it’s a crime to upload your own nudes to OnlyFans and then tell your abusive ex-partner’s family, “hey, this is a link to the nude pictures your child threatened to post online if I broke up with them”. My grandma has accidentally shared worse things with me than that

This is the one where Homer finds where the celebrities are secretly living after crashing in their house while parasailing?

Oh god, the lemonade! Somebody look at the lemonade!

I’m dying at the irony of claiming 50% of all Nature articles are wrong while also providing literally no evidence

Gosh, it’s like every time some big genuine shitshow is about to be revealed, we get to enjoy some surface-level bullshit distraction. What are the odds?

It’s funny how sometimes two wrongs make a right

This is my favorite Treehouse episode honestly. I am going to have to rewatch it now

Lousy Smarch weather…

Well, I’ll always have my prank calls. Hello? Old lady from Titanic? You stink!

Legend has it my great grand pappy stumbled upon this recipe when he was trying to invent a cheap substitute for holy water

You said you wanted me to crush him, right?

Quick, Lenny, cover for me

The two signs you need are:

1. Did you drop off your ballot?
2. Did your local government confirm they received your ballot?

This is the way