I’m a lazy bastard but I’m damn good at interviews. I’ve been hired on as a manager at two different places only for me and them to realize it was a terrible, terrible mistake.

I have the skills, I’m just too damn nice and before you know it everyone I’m “managing” is my buddy and the whole thing falls apart.

I never mean for it to happen, it’s partly just the culture here. Everyone is a close friend after a week deep in Appalachia. That’s just how we roll.

Anyways, bye, love y’all. See ya next comment. Be saaafe!

Hey, this guy starred in one of the only memes I’ve ever made. Neat.

Heeeey a link!

You’re the best. I loved that.

My experience with psychedelics (enjoyed with others) is that what you experience relates directly to you the person.

For me, I was already terribly empathetic and I became crippled with empathy, incapable of any move in any direction that didn’t benefit everyone.

Ego death doesn’t happen for everyone. Some egos are too big to kill and grow even larger.

That is my anecdotal experience. I knew someone who went from huge ego to an ego to end all egos.

He woke up the next day convinced that the world needed him.

I’ve never done ketamine though.

LSD, DMT, and mushrooms. That’s it for me.

Don’t know the reference but I’m sure it’s awesome. :p

They do make games for phones though. I haven’t heard of any in a while but I remember some dust being kicked up about Mario coming to smartphones about a decade ago.

I’m on my phone now actually. Let me look.

Yep.

I still have the old link to my voip app, which I started using in 2008/09 with USB hardware plugged into my computer. I still have that hardware but I doubt it works. I also still have an email full of voicemails up until I stopped paying for it, which it turns out was 2020, not 2019.

I’d still be doing it today, but after my wife got pregnant she told me I had to get a phone.

Funny thing, the very night I activated it I had a blowout on the side of the road and called her so I could yank the spare from the back of her vehicle and get home.

We both drove near identical jeeps at the time and I was already on my spare.

Of course I got the whole, “SEE! You’d be waiting on me to miss you and come out looking for you if you didn’t get this phone!”

I hate having a phone to this day. I really wish I could just vanish completely from everyone from time to time.

I found a spot at the lake near me that has no service recently, so I’m going to pretend to go fishing this summer and just go sit there.

I am more and more convinced every day that I’m not neurotypical. My mother said to me on Sunday, “oh lord, the way you think. You’ve always had the same brain and I’d tell you to take things a different way and your grandma would say, “leave that baby alone. He’s just creative. Let him be weird.””

I’m definitely not right.

Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever been more insulted haha.

Are you even remotely serious?

Oh boy oh boy. Story time.

So around 2015 I got a call at work from an ex-girlfriend. I was 100% certain that the first time I had sex with her had occurred in 2008.

She informed me that it was actually in 2007 when we got drunk and ended up crashing at a friends place.

The whole point of her call was to tell me that she had a daughter, and that daughter was mine. I watched that baby for her when she was about 6 months old. It never even crossed my mind.

She had me totally convinced. I called my old friend who informed me that we did in fact have sex night and that he heard us and was annoyed by it. The timing was perfect. Uh oh.

Anyway, I always liked her. I didn’t think I had any reason to distrust her. So, like the fool I am, I just went with it.

She said that she didn’t tell me because of my heavy drinking, drug use, and promiscuity. She didn’t think I was cut out to be a dad, but then she seen through social media how good I was with my kids and decided she was wrong, all these years later. Things started seeming off pretty quick. She told me that a friend of hers passed away in a car accident, and she always told the daughter that he was her father.

Deeper than that, though, she told his family he was the father.

She told me that the little girl was that family’s link to him and that she didn’t want to break their hearts. But she wanted me to know, and she wanted me to have a relationship with my daughter. I thought it was fucked up that she had done that, but I certainly didn’t want to crush some mother’s heart who lost her young son in an accident and miraculously found that he had left a child for her to love.

She said that I could come around and that we would let the kid know when she was older.

We first agreed to meet at a park, I went and sat there for two hours and she never showed up. Then she apologized and said something came up, she wanted to meet at the petting zoo that was in town. I went to the petting zoo, sat there for a while, and she never showed up. She told me that she would be in touch with me, that she was sorry things kept coming up.

At that point, I had still refused to get a cell phone because I am so antisocial. I didn’t want to have to talk to people or answer people when I was outside of my home or my job. I didn’t get a cell phone until 2019, I always used an iPod touch with a VOIP app. So whenever I was left hanging, I just had to wait.

I ended up talking with the kid on the phone a few times, she was a very sweet kid, but very troubled. That trouble I knew, had to come from somewhere.

The last time we scheduled to meet, I got a call the day before. It was her sister.

“angryseal, I have always liked you. When I found out my sister was talking to you again, I couldn’t just sit by and let you get scammed. You are not the first long lost father, you’re probably about the 5th. To give you a clue how awful my sister is, she met a lonely older man who has spent his entire life taking care of his sick mother. He never had time to date, and after his mom passed he went out and had the misfortune of meeting my sister. She was at his house one night and noticed a bank statement with a large number. She hatched a plan and called him up a few weeks later. She told him she had cancer and that she couldn’t afford the surgery and was going to die if she didn’t get it. It was early enough that all she needed was a surgery, and that surgery was 40k. This man gave her 40,000 dollars, she called him one more time to say the surgery was successful and then she ghosted him. She blew all of that money vacationing with another man in Florida. They probably spent half of it on cocaine. You tell my sister that you want a DNA test and you will never hear from her again.”

What!? Ok.

So the next time we spoke, I told her that it wasn’t anything personal, I just didn’t want heartbreak on down the line and I told her I’d like to get a DNA test. “How dare you? What, you don’t trust me? I have never been anything but good to you! You know what?! I’ve done just fine raising her without you up to now and I’ll keep doing fine, you asshole!”

I have never heard from her again.

I still think about that pretty often haha. What a world we live in.

It’s a bummer.

Like, all around.

When I was a kid, going to town was an event. We’d head down to the local hardware store which stocked NES and SNES games for us kids, had a section for toys and everything. Nothing fancy, just water guns and action figures. My mom actually talked the guy into stocking Nintendo games so we didn’t have to travel two towns over to get them. We’d leave there and my mom would take us to Speedy’s for a haircut. (They recently tore his old building down. I hated to see it). Then we’d walk down to the fabric shop so my mom could buy some stuff to make curtains and things. Once we were done there we’d go down to the little grocery store, the owner always gave me and my brother a lollipop and a dollar bill. Then we’d go from place to place browsing and window shopping.

Walmart ended all of that when it came to my town. People fought it for a long time and finally compromised and let them build on the highway.

I liked capitalism before it got like this. When people owned their towns and local businesses.

I bought a single Big Mac in rural nowhere the day before yesterday. I expected to pay about 4.50. Nope. Almost 7 dollars. 6.80 for single, cold, dry, wilted ass lettuce, dry ass cheese, sloppily made burger. I waited outside for nearly half an hour for it. Girl came to my window and said, “what did you order?” I told her and she still handed me a bag with a 4 piece nugget and a small fry. I had to go in and tell them they got it wrong, show my receipt which was stuck on the bag, then wait another 15 minutes for that cold, yucky sandwich.

The person who ordered the nuggets either left without looking or decided to say “fuck it”, because they didn’t come back in with me.

I would have done that, but I paid 7 bucks for the the shit.

That is it for me.

I don’t get mad when people make mistakes, and I wasn’t mad when all that happened. The only thing that made me mad was the price.

McDonald’s can kiss my ass. A few more dollars and a short wait and I could have got a banging ass meal just down the road at the noodle joint.

Same as it ever was.

I prefer to mate, thank you.

Could be it honestly. :)

I live deep in the Appalachian mountains and I haven’t met a single person interested in the things that I am since I was a kid.

I’m so bad and hate socializing so much that I recently got the Mortal Kombat II deluxe arcade cabinet, the same dude kept joining my match every single time I played so I just stopped going online haha.

He contacted me and we talked once, and that was that.

I really like him too, I just can’t handle it. Even that tiny little bit of it.

I don’t know why I’m like that. I’m not bad at talking to people. I’ve been told I’m damn good at it. I’ve been told I’m charismatic and all that. There’s just something broken in me.

Probably comes from the abuse I suffered as a kid if I’m being honest. It was rough, and it trained me I guess.

But then again, my whole family is like me. I don’t even know 90% of them, but I can tell you that 90% of them do not have Facebook. The ones that do, they don’t ever post, they don’t ever like, nothing. It’s like it’s just who we are or something.

I have brothers who grew up in different households. Two of them never experienced any abuse as children, they were spoiled. They are just like me. They talk to no one.

I knew a girl a long time ago whose mother had her convinced that she could tell by her urine if she ever had sex.

She was a good mom for the most part, just backwards in a lot of ways (mostly having to do with religion).

When that girl went wild, oh boy she went wild.

When she found out her mom had lied to her, she went to a party and begged people to have sex with her. She was beautiful but it freaked everyone out so the only person interested was a creep.

Fortunately she didn’t get pregnant and end up stuck with him or something.

You can mess kids up doing crap like that.

I’ve done the whole therapy thing, I just do not have it in me to have friends.

I haven’t had a desire to make a friend since I was a kid.

I do get lonely. I’ll have a thought that I’d like to share and I know I drive my wife crazy.

I wouldn’t even care if I could find a way to make some money. Right now I’m a stay at home dad. That’s what my wife wanted me to do. I was making money on the stock market, not taking big risks, just making above minimum wage. Then the election happened and now that’s over.

Thank you for caring.

Heeeey it’s me. Totally socially crippled.

I don’t even know how to maintain relationships, don’t have an interest in trying. There’s something wrong with me.

My only friend on this planet is my uncle.