Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train
Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.
For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.
It’s better to cum in the train than to train in the cum.
The worst part is when someone triggers the emergency brakes at high speed and all the cum gets forced to the front of the train - that is when the laser-like leaks of highly pressurised cum cut down everything in a 1km radius.
My wife died from high velocity cum. I’m holding a silent vigil tonight, you’re welcome to come. Masturbation is allowed but only when silent and discrete.
Get a weighted coffin so it won’t float.
I wish I could but we couldn’t recover the body, the cum left earth’s atmosphere with my wife’s body attached. A panel of scientists told me her limp lifeless body is currently being pulled towards the the outer edges of the known universe, hence the vigil.
Yeah, that is what cum with the force of 1000 suns does to a human body, I am so very sorry.
I hope she got to glimpse one of the Voyagers on her way out.
May she visit the great surface & her projected information escape this simulation with grace.
I can’t breathe.
I love you
I love you too
puts beans in your ear
Oh, that gif makes me uncomfortable.
I’m saving it to share with others.
I’ve never realised this text assumes there are only men on the train
The women recieved a psychic pulse to leave the train minutes before this image was pulsed.
Tuck and roll, ladies.
Is it really “not safe for work” if everyone at work is in on it?
Some dude on the same train as mine started masturbating and everyone were saying like “what the fuck” and “Call the police” when he stopped. When he dropped the phone, I started masturbating to the content in question on the phone. Please put an NSFW tag, I dont want this shit happening again.
What the actual fuck is that image on the screen?
Chica and Bonnie from FNAF
Bowling alley animations
Sexy.
Dr. Seuss character lookin’ legs.
You know, I spent a lot of time today obsessing over how bad the world is getting, and wondering what the point of it all is.
This. It’s this. I stick around for the weird motherfuckers who’ll do shit like this, and share it on the internet.
If I must live through yet another apocaplyse, I want to do it with you.
tf is bro watching
I ruined my search history for you: https://tinyurl.com/mra5wd35. Apparently rule34 from “Five Nights at Freddie’s” game, characters called Toy Chica and Toy Bonnie.
A true scholar!
Ty for sharing your research.rule34 from “Five Nights at Freddie’s”
No thank you, I mean thank you for looking that up that but, no thanks. That sentence should not exist, even if it does prove Rule 34.
Art
Damn girl. Looking fine
Damn, I just shaved my legs for the first time because I thought it would be fun (It definitely is interesting) like a week ago and missed the opportunity to do something like this for a laugh.
So, I actually shaved all body hair (save for the gentlemen’s region) in high school for big swim meets - it was a thing that the swim team did. Doesn’t actually make a meaningful difference unless you’re legitimately an Olympic-level competitor. I was always SUPER thrown off trying to sleep the night before the meet because sheets feel SO WEIRD on my skin without any hair on my limbs and chest.
This is why you cover your bed sheets in vaseline and motor oil, amateur.
So being in the early prime years of your life for dating, you shaved your entire body except the area that’s considered considerate for your partner?
I certainly don’t feel the need to explain any additional intimate details of my adolescent years to you
just curious, when you were done how much did you miss? my first time I missed so much 😭
I missed quite a but, but my plan was always to shave and then Nair, so I gave it a day to let my skin recover from and shaving cuts/irritation, and the chemicals did the rest.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
Awful Taste But Great Execution !atbge@lemmy.world
Underrated AF.
Thanks, I hate it.
What bet did you lose?
This is modern art.
This is a programmer who only learns the functions xe needs
I would hate to presume things but I can just tell this person just installed the Justin Bieber Linux distro on their computer (and obviously not the Hannah Montana Linux).
Config pls???
