I was homeschooled previously with a small group of other children and we fart in class all the time.
Now I’m in public school for high school and no one is farting. I was very sheltered and public school is like a whole new world for me, so I don’t know what the norms are. I’ve been holding it in but my stomach hurts and it leaks out anyway.
I don’t understand how there are so many more people in high school and yet zero farts…
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Go to the bathroom between passing periods and let one out.
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Improve your diet, don’t drink carbonated drinks.
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I can’t believe I’m having this interaction on Lemmy
Figure out if you are lactose intolerant and don’t have any milk or dairy products before going to school or during the day … have the cheese at the end of the school day.
Exercise and walk lots … not intensive just keep moving. The digestive system works better when the body is moving … the muscle movement especially your abdomen literally pumps and drives the digestive system.
The longer and more often you sit still, the more likely all that content will just sit and take longer to pass. The longer it sits, the more likely you’ll build up gas, more gas, more farting.
Or, figure out if you are lactose intolerant. And if you are? Fill yourself up with dairy and be a true menace.
Just don’t shit yourself. Otherwise, you’re just the weird guy who shits himself.
I didn’t know I was lactose intolerant for a long time. I used to have a carton of milk at morning break every day and release absolutely rancid SBDs afterward. One day was particularly impressive - the guy I had a crush on proclaimed it was so bad that if it had been his he would have named it.
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What an asshole.
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This is satire, right? I want to believe homeschooled kids are not as bad as they are often pictured
Having seen how some evangelical adults act (and eat) after being homeschooled, you could tell me this whole thread was 100% true and I’d believe it. I’m not saying it is, but combine social awkwardness with the hot garbage food fundie women post on Instagram, it’s feasible. Or, on the flipside, some of the more granola homeschool families I’ve seen would also be believable in this.
It’s a troll post. Nothing more.
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Homeschooled kids are bad because they fart?
it’s a common argument against homeschooling that kids who have no exposure to peers in a school setting end up with poor social skills. unless this post is satire, which I am like 99% sure it must be, this seems to be a case of that
edit: I’m in no way saying it’s the strongest or the most important argument against homeschooling
If you act towards everyone else how you act towards your siblings (or parents if you’re an only child) and they don’t take you to meet up and play often with other homeschooled kids, then yes you’re going to be weird.
It’s a very accurate stereotype. Have you ever seen an unsocialized dog around other dogs who have been properly socialized? And it takes so many more years to learn human socialization.
- Former homeschooled kid
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Lemmy is officially Reddit’s little brother now.
How is babby formded
Am I preganate?
People said fuck spez over and over again and it becum pregenate
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All that’s missing is a poop knife post (or was there one?)
It’s a myriad of issues.
- Farts are not considered to be socially acceptable, and thus one loses “social status” if one farts. So at an early age, you learn to hold it in. This has been going on since antiquity, as it is the source of the oldest humor seen via graffiti.
- You can get in trouble if you fart (I guess because of #1). I knew of a few times someone farted, and the teacher sent them out for punishment for “disrupting class.”
- People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.
- People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.
And then the blame game starts, like a game of hot potato of social standing.
“He who smelt it dealt it, and I am no blacksmith good sir”
But have you considered that he who denied it, in fact, supplied it?
“He who smelt it, dealt it”
But #3 would still smell bad and I haven’t smelled anyone farting.
A question no one has asked yet: how often are you farting and how smelly are we talking? Because there may be a diet change worth considering if you’re putting around like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Pretty smelly. Once or twice per class I guess.
Bro either see a doctor or clean up your diet. That amount and frequency of smelly flatulence is not normal.
You may want to talk to your doctor. That frequency is not a common issue and there may be something going on with your diet or stomach. It’s not uncommon for people to go far longer than 1 highschool class without farting and most farts don’t smell. If all your farts smell that likely means somethings wrong with your diet or stomach.
You’re trolling right?
I genuinely thought this was a real post at first.
But the responses you’re having are just a little too cookie cutter…
Let’s say you are a real person and are having this problem. First, congrats on making it to a setting that exposes you to a large number of peers from all kinds of socioeconomic backgrounds.
No matter how much money I have in my life, I think I will insist on sending my kids to public school. That’s what I did for all my life and I turned out fine. Just being exposed to everyone else will really help in maturing and having broad life experiences.
Yes but it’s much more difficult to determine the source of said fart so unless someone figures out who done it the social statuses remain unaffected
If you need to fart very often, you may need to change your diet. Look up food that causes gas and try to watch your body after you eat it to find out what makes you fart and what’s ok.
Everyone does, they’re just quiet about it.
Your homeschool diet has a lot to do with it.
What do you think a homeschool diet is like? I’m imagining high in veggies, low meat, maybe organic… Maybe lots of beans.
You just need some practice farting quietly.
The sound is much less important than the smell.
if no one can hear you fart, no one knows who is responsible
no one knows who is responsible
That’s not correct. We all know that first to smell it, dealt it.
This is generally true except in the controversial case of “he who denied it supplied it” which set a new precedent for fart identification worldwide
Such is the jurisprudence, yes.
guilty dog barks first
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The people sitting next to me would know.
well, you have to learn to employ different techniques like crop dusting
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop+dusting
Yes they do. All body smells contain the personal note of the person. Someone with a skilled nose can identify you by any bodily odor.
“You smelled it you dealt it” kept everyone quite when I was in school so long as there is plausible deniability for the source.
Sure thing Sloppy Diffuser, sure thing
Don’t start nutn, won’t be nutn
I was homeschooled until highschool as well. The best I can tell you is to do bathroom runs occasionally and fart it up in the bathroom. If it becomes a serious social concern then I would look into taking a couple beano pills with your breakfast.
Good luck, and godspeed 🫡 your first while in public school is gonna be hard and weird while you learn how to be normal, but all things (including gas) pass with time.
Pro tip that I didn’t learn until uncomfortably late: if a dude has a cool haircut, even if you really wanna feel his hair, do NOT ask to touch his hair unless he does that freshly shaved head thing where he asks people to feel how fuzzy it is. Trust me. Comparing your hair textures and feels is fine among siblings but classmates consider it to be deeply weird.
It sounds like you need a change of diet …
Honestly, if you can’t hold your farts until you go to the bathroom without it hurting, you might need to get on a medication or something. It’s extremely rude to do that around other people. What would you do on an airplane?
My relative was a stewardess, and she said the ups and downs of many flights a day (domestic, multiple small flights) combined with airline food would give them all gas.
They had a maneuver they called “crop dusting “ whereby they would release their gases during nonchalant walks up and down the aisle.
This helped disperse the fumes rather than leaving them concentrated.
You call it disperse the fumes, I call it maximising the victims.
Best one to use after finishing your crop dust:
“Anyone else smell popcorn?”
Due to the lower air pressure inside of an airplane when af cruising altittude (comparable to the pressure at around 2500m of altitude, iirc) the gasses in the bowels expand, causing more discomfort. That’s why everyone gets more gassy in a plane, although I can imagine that airplane food and fucked up circadian rythms contribute as well.
Love the term crop dusting btw.
Fart.
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I’d turn the little vent on above my head and let her rip.
300 people and two to three lavatories which are only allowed to use during certain parts of the flight.
I’d be more than happy to use the bathroom if the bathroom was available.
If holding in a fart makes your stomach hurt then you need to shit. It eventually hurts to hold your piss and shit in, but then we use the washroom instead of filling our pants. Same thing, imo.
Have a shit, stop farting all over the place.
Lol what? You can still need to fart but not be able to take a shit. Even so much that it hurts.
Thanks for the tip, I had no idea you should let OP know.
Have a shit, stop farting all over the place.
An idiom for life.
Let er rip. Be the hero of the oppressed. Freedom for farts or no freedom at all. Ass Gas or Pass playboi. If she don’t love your gas she don’t love you at all. Huff it or beat it honey. Beans is life
Avert your eyes children. He may take on other forms!
Homeschool kids are so weird LoL.
