You see, there’s a median voter somewhere in fucking Arizona or some such who really truly has a hard time deciding between the two candidates. Offering them healthcare, a union, or a safety net and the like are obviously no good because, regardless of relative price, if the invoice came from a government paper instead of a private company they’d fall into madness as if they saw the face of C’thulu xirself.

So when they wake up after watching reality TV until there’s 4 hours left to vote, they turn on the TV see two people groveling and crying, begging to for a chance to spill more blood, they choose the one who promises the least in return for causing unfathomable harm. Why? Because there were no subtitles during the super bowl halftime show.

Popular policies just aren’t realistic because the whole system is set up around that guy in Arizona