Remember folks, if you see somebody shoplifting food, no you didn’t.

Captain Crunch probably flogs his sailers and privateers for the British

Fuck that narc

I feel like i need to pack it in and stop lifting stuff. I try to limit it to like, one thing that’d save me 8+ dollars when i’m already buying shit, I pick it up, put it in cart but near my hands and palm and pocket it when i go around a corner where it doesn’t look like there’s a camera

But the thing is the fucking cameras are getting really fucking good and it’s increasingly likely they’ll have cameras I don’t notice with the resolution to pick up the pores on my nose so yeah idk i feel like i should stop doing even that

The aisles with big boxes usually are in camera blind spots so it’s this guy and the armorall car polishing guy who watch me

Boy if I had a nickel

i have to do it Cap’n or i’ll never afford ram

Yeah because I’m gonna take judgement from the guy who’s stealing valor(His uniform is actually that of a commander, not a captain. He’s a liar).