• curiousaur@reddthat.com
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    1 month ago

    Did you miss ther part where we’re all dudes? I can’t imagine you did, it’s kinda most of it.

    • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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      1 month ago

      You can insist upon it as much as you like, it does not make it true, and it certainly doesn’t make the word sting less to me.

      Either stop calling me by an inherently masculine gendered word (I’m not “guys” I’m not “dude” I’m not “bro”), or, as kindly as I can say it, fuck off.

      • curiousaur@reddthat.com
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        1 month ago

        This is the internet. You can be anything you want to be. Why would you CHOOSE insecure?

          • curiousaur@reddthat.com
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            1 month ago

            I know you are. I’m an ally. I didn’t refer to you individually as that a single time again. It is not as gendered in the larger vernacular as you think it is. I was trying to demonstrate that. I call my wife dude.

            Fixating and digging in is only harmful, growing the divide between would be allies and actual ones.

            You are making external the struggle in your head. My wife is a woman. She would never say “I’m not a dude”, because she owns it. Saying that only demonstrates that you yourself doubt the womanhood. Not correcting that is owning womanhood.

            Own it. This is the internet, people can’t see you. Everyone can pass.

            • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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              1 month ago

              When you assert “everyone is a dude” and “we are all dudes” you are referring to me as a dude. Do not tell me how to be a woman. When someone sets a boundary, do not disrespect it and tell them why they should not have that boundary.

              Edit: if you cannot respect a trans person’s desires to not be referred to by a word that has definite gendered connotations, wider vernacular or not, then you are an ally in name alone.

              I am well aware that people choose to use it to refer to people of any gender. You do not need to educate me about that. You do not, in fact, need to educate me about anything. I asked you not to refer to me by word that causes me pain, and you, instead of just doing that or stopping communication if you dont want to do it, decided it would be best to repeatedly force it upon me over several replies. what allyship is this.

              • curiousaur@reddthat.com
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                1 month ago

                We ARE all dudes. Trying to clame that Kel is offending all woman is laughable. Being a dude doesn’t make you any less of a woman. I’m very sorry you’re so insecure. I’m not telling you how to be a woman, I’m trying to tell you how to stop being so insecure.

                • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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                  1 month ago

                  We are not all dudes simply because an actor in a children’s comedy film said so.

                  I am not a dude. I will never be a dude. You can will away the inherent gender of the term all you like. Plenty of people will agree with you. You can use the word with them all you like. I am not one of those people.

                  This is not insecurity. I have spent a long time working on the strength of my sense of womanhood. This is dysphoria. Dysphoria lives in an entirely separate part of the brain, and has a different effect on the sufferer. Masculine gendered language used to describe me, or being lumped into groups that are inherently masculine, both have a profound impact on the dysphoria I experience. You, an ally by your own naming, have opted to repeatedly force this feeling of dysphoria upon me despite several requests not to.

                  Do you force this word on anyone else who has asked you not to? Do you spend several messages in a thread just barreling over them? Does it have pleasant results?

                  • baconsunday@lemmy.zip
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                    1 month ago

                    Don’t bother replying to this dude, he gets drug around by the ankles in any debate he tries to stir up. It won’t be long before he is writing you about what a “quarter million dollar job” he has 😂 because that’s how us who make that much talk.

                    He can’t handle intellectual debates, so his go to is to try and put on this therapist persona, as if he has any sense of how psychology works, just so he can play victim and attempt to make it seem like he isn’t the bigoted fool running around the comment sections.

                    He’s a thirty year old many who says things like “cringe.” Lmfao, if that doesn’t tell you what a fedora explorer he is, then idk 😂

                  • curiousaur@reddthat.com
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                    1 month ago

                    Yup, that’s what Kel is doing, he’s forcing. Your insecurity is causing you to see things as attacks that are not. And that will only do you more harm in the end. Try to get past it.