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The Picard Maneuver
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to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 months ago

I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

lemmy.world

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I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver
cake
to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 months ago
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  • Igilq
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    80•2 months ago

    Why would someone put a pen in their urethra?

    • @henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      71•2 months ago

      Oh you poor innocent soul. Some things are best left unsaid.

      • @wheelie@lemmy.world
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        16•2 months ago

        I want to be grossed out. Hit me.

        • RandomStickman
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          60•2 months ago

          Look at you sounding off here. You must not be sound of mind if you’re looking for this. It’s sounding like a bad idea.

          • it's not often that shit just works
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            2 months ago

            Some peehole just don’t know when to stop.

        • @BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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          15•2 months ago

          Foogle “10mm sounding rod”

          • Boxscape
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            34•2 months ago

            Foogle “10mm sounding rod”

            • @sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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              4•2 months ago

              Amazon sells a ribbed one…

    • @Dragonstaff@leminal.space
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      50•2 months ago

      A pen? Foolhardiness.

      Using a sterile cylinder of metal or glass is called “sounding” and is a somewhat common fetish. I think this post is a joke, but humanity never fails to disappoint me.

      • @Num10ck@lemmy.world
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        21•2 months ago

        i saw a video once that used a finger with a long fake fingernail entering a male urethra, that obviously had prior visitors. no idea what the best possible outcome is.

        • @HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          17•2 months ago

          Best outcome would be busting a nut. Worst would be busting a nail.

          • @tomenzgg@midwest.social
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            8•2 months ago

            …

            *begrudgingly slow-claps*

          • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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            2•2 months ago

            I can think of some alternate worst outcomes…

            • @HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              1•2 months ago

              • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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                4•2 months ago

                busting a nut

      • @BrowseMan@sh.itjust.works
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        8•2 months ago

        Glass?

        That sound like a very, very, VERY poor material choice…

        • @funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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          15•2 months ago

          they’re toughened glass.

          There used to be a coffee shop I frequented that had a large display case of them.

        • @SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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          9•2 months ago

          I want to avoid micro plastics

        • @HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4•2 months ago

          Glass and Stainless are the two main materials used for sounding.

          Glass is quite sturdy.

    • Rose Thorne(She/Her)
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      39•2 months ago

      Some people find the experience of sticking things in their urethra highly stimulating. Some of those people get tired of the typical thin rod, and need something… More.

      I’ve always been more curious as to who figured this out first. Someone had to be the first to scratch the inside of their dick with a stick to awaken a whole new itch, and I find that just slightly terrifying.

      • @TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Sounder here. It started as experimenting as a child. Once i found out that i can make good feeling by touching my pp, I tried everything I could think of to make different good feelings.

        Started with lego spears and antennae around 10 I think. Also tried those little ball chains that are used as pull switches for ceiling lights. They were less fun. Nowadays I use proper surgical grade tools.

        I’ve got a pencil dick so the biggest I can fit is 7.5mm even after sounding for 20 years. Some guys can take up to 12 or 13 mm and it legitimately makes me jealous.

        • @nightm4re@feddit.org
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          2 months ago

          Not kinkshaming here, I just hadn’t expected to read an adventure tale this detailed today.

        • @ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com
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          14•2 months ago

          You’re giving me flashbacks to a doctor in Tokyo sticking a camera into my bladder and saying it was beautiful. I yahooed it, cameras are 9mm. It was hell. At least I got you best ya weirdo

        • Omega
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          4•2 months ago

          Screenshot_2025-04-11-03-22-31-108_org.koitharu.kotatsu

          • @TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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            10•2 months ago

            I put things in my peehole for sexual pleasure.

            Hope that clears it up.

      • @Num10ck@lemmy.world
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        7•2 months ago

        are they resonating the thing to make it vibrate? are there some awesome frequencies? otherwise i dont understand the ‘sounding’ name.

        • RandomStickman
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          19•2 months ago

          A medical sound is an instrument used for probing and dilating

          • @Num10ck@lemmy.world
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            3•2 months ago

            ahh thank you. can they use it like rebar and have sex while its inserted?

            • @TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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              7•2 months ago

              Not recommended. Unless you get a flexible silicone sound. But I find those quite boring.

              • @Num10ck@lemmy.world
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                2•2 months ago

                what do you find not boring? the only thing i’m familiar with is a tenga flip hole.

                • @TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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                  3•2 months ago

                  I dunno a lot of stuff I guess. You ever tried a real strong massage gun right to the front of your shaft?

                  I got a tenga flip once and thought it was shit. Actual fleshlight brand toys are the best imo.

        • @TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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          5•2 months ago

          You can buy vibrating sounds, but honestly the vibrating doesnt add much to the experience.

        • @Dragonstaff@leminal.space
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          5•2 months ago

          The name comes from Depth Sounding (Link is completely SFW) It has the same meaning as “probing”.

    • @HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11•2 months ago

      It’s cause the other holes are full.

    • @Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      5•2 months ago

      Just assume they’re joking and think on it no further.

      Do not Google anything!

    • @Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee
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      1•2 months ago

      Alfred Charles Kinsey, of Kinsey Reports fame, was into sounding and at least once put a toothbrush up his own urethra… with the coarse end first.

  • @Fleur_@aussie.zone
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    30•2 months ago

    God won’t forgive me for having this knowledge

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand
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      13•2 months ago

      Then we will walk backwards into hell together, with heavy hearts and four middle fingers held high

      • @TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works
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        4•2 months ago

        I wanna come too! Please pleaseeee

        • Brave Little Hitachi Wand
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          1•2 months ago

          Aw shucks, get the Hell over here!

    • @vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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      1•2 months ago

      The Allfather encourages the collection of all knowledge, I am going to get stabbed with Gungnir if I spread this information to any but my fose though. Magic may be restricted to women and those who have experienced womanhood but I can still inflict psychic damage!

  • @deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
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    27•2 months ago

    Sounds about right.

  • tiredofsametab
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    22•2 months ago

    WTF is a “cow vtuber”?

    • @Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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      16•2 months ago

      A vtuber who’s a cow.

    • @zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
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      9•2 months ago

      Considering the comment, I think I’m better off not knowing.

    • @Hupf@feddit.org
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      6•2 months ago

      https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4490

    • @pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4•2 months ago

      since i can’t explain, go to urban dictionary.

      • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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        3•
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        2 months ago

        this is the closest thing I found

        cow vagina
        when you translate it to Japanese it meas fucking awesome to them.
        Wow that roller coaster was cow vagina!

        +5 upvotes -5 downvotes

        can you link the result you’re referencing or put in spoilers?

        • tiredofsametab
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          4•2 months ago

          I speak Japanese and, at least for all the words I’m thinking of for both cow and vagina, none come out to awesome unless it’s some net slang that I don’t know. Cow could by Gyuu or Ushi. Vagina is often mata, man, or manko (all of which could have a preceding ‘o’) (edit: also chitsu and wagina (probably by way of Dutch originally), apparently also exist.) Those might possibly work better, especially wagina with the -na ending common to a type of adjective)

          Awesome is a bit trickier. Subarashii is usually the dictionary one, but Sogoi/sugei or saikou come to mind. Archaic rippaa also exists. If that’s true, my vote is on net slang or just something I’m totally not seeing.


          Edit: after filling my search history with interesting things, it appears it’s Chinese and not Japanese. “niubi”.

        • @pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2•2 months ago

          https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=VTuber

          and you know what a cow is

          • tiredofsametab
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            2•2 months ago

            Ok, so … I suppose it is what is says on the tin? Someone whose avatar is a cow (I assumed it was some specific genre or something less literal)? Is the content cow-related somehow? I still have many questions.

            • @pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              1•2 months ago

              cow avatar im assumung

      • tiredofsametab
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        2•2 months ago

        I’m not seeing it there on any of the three pages (nor ctrl+f for ‘animal’ on the first at least)

    • Justas🇱🇹
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      1•2 months ago

      rosiebellmoo is a cow vtuber

  • @SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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    17•2 months ago

    Skill issue. Should be doing both at the same time.

  • @Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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    15•2 months ago

    I’m not going to yick someone’s yum, but goddamn I gotta say that’s some impressive training. I assume that taking a piss looks like turning on a garden hose.

    • @RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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      9•2 months ago

      Probably one with a literal kink in it. The stretched out area will slow the flow vs the un-disturbed smaller diameter. Probably dribble a lot, too.

  • @finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    9•2 months ago

    This explains the tapered end of XP-Pen

  • @BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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    6•2 months ago

    I also have a Huion graphic tablet, and this makes me not want to use it now. Like it’s somehow contaminated with urethra.

    • @phorq@lemmy.ml
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      2•2 months ago

      Did you buy it used?

      • @KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
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        4•2 months ago

        I buy all my sounding gear used. I don’t wash it either. Just lick it and wipe it on my shirt.

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